I was praying the other morning. I'm calling it praying because I'm learning there's a bit of difference (in my mind at least) between praying and talking to God.
I was praying the other morning. Praying because I was telling God what I'd like him to do in my life and other peoples lives. You know how this prayer goes, "God, please help Jane/James/Jerry to be nice today. Help us to communicate better and help us to get along. Lord, please also make things go smoothly at work and help me to deal with this problem/person/thing." I call that praying. Maybe I should call it ordering God around but generally if I'm honest that's what my prayers sound like, they sound like me asking God to do things in my life that suit the way I see the world.
I was praying the other morning. I stopped in the middle of my prayers and I thought, 'Wendy, what are you doing? Prayer is meant to be you talking to God like you would a friend. Would you ever go to coffee and talk to a friend the way you have been talking to God?' Immediately, my response was, 'No Way!' and I realised that friend probably wouldn't want to come out for coffee with me again. Afterall who really wants to go out for coffee with someone who just talks about themselves and what matters to them.
I was praying the other morning. I decided to stop praying mid-sentence and try talking to God like I would a friend. I tried telling him about the problem/person/thing and asking him what his solution might be or to work in the situation however he wanted. Talking to God like a friend sounded a lot like this, "So God I'm worried about this person/problem/thing and I don't know what to do. We're not getting on the way I'd like to. Is there something you want me to do to change this? Could you tell me how you see the situation."
I was talking to God the other morning and I realised how things have changed since I stopped praying, since I stopped ordering God around and rather began talking to him and letting him tell me what to do. Relearning how to pray is hard, sometimes it's easier to just revert to telling God waht I want, I often have to stop mid-sentence and say God, "Would you like to come for coffee because I'd like to hear your opinion on a few things..."