When my husband and I got married a few months ago it was preceded by a number of decisions around birth control. I've known since I was a teen that I didn't want to take the Pill (various reasons ranging from doubt around whether it causes abortion to the fact that my body has functioned just fine without pumping hormones into it for 28 years lay behind this feeling). Fortunately, for me, I was planning to marry a man who completely supported my decision. So we decided against hormonal birth control and opted instead to use natural family planning (we signed up for classes and read about it like mad). We didn't want to become the butt of jokes about natural family planning and so far we're childless and hormone free and satisfied with our decision.
This meant that we've opted to do something no one else we know is doing. It also started a number of interesting conversations with friends about contraceptives. Some of whom are looking for alternatives to hormones and some who think we're making the biggest mistake of our lives. We've heard every response from: "Let me know how it works we might want to try it" to "You're crazy, you'll be pregnant in no time at all". It reached the point where I've started to think that many people think that pregnancy (and therefore children) are a disease rather than a blessing.
Which is why I found this blog by Rachel Jankovic so refreshing: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank. She writes about how her hands might be full (with 5 children) but that they are full with good things. I thought she put my feelings after all the conversations I refered to above into words perfectly:
"The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
...Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
I don't have children, one day I hope that God will bless us with them, but I've enough friends who've struggled to have children to know that it motherhood isn't guaranteed, I hope that when I do I'll remember to keep some perspective on the gift that God has given us in them and die to myself and give them the time they need.
Where do children rank for you?
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high five to you on your choice & on this post.
ReplyDeleteKids are the best, in them we've become more than we would ever have been, but you're right it is about embracing & not grudgingly accepting. I do believe in bringing children to life, we are more like Him in creating someone outside of ourselves who is somewhat like us & entirely different.
We just realized, with our youngest turning 9 in March, that a 4th is on its way - it is okay, it is actually quite amazing. :-)